American Elephants


The Newest Dietary Advice — Bacon and Eggs Are Good For You! by The Elephant's Child

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All those things the federal government told you that you must not eat—nevermind! Butter is fine; bacon is good; steak—wonderful if you can afford the rapidly climbing price; cheese, salami, hamburger, great. Ice cream— fine; nuts, hot dogs and fried chicken all o.k.. It’s the complex carbohydrates that trigger the release of insulin. A high fat diet has been shown to be better for you, and we have been in error about shifting our diets so dramatically away from meat, dairy and cheese, shifting our calories to carbohydrates instead. For breakfast, instead of oatmeal go for bacon, eggs, sausage and whole fat yogurt.

We have recently learned that those vitamin pills we scarf down in hopes of health don’t do a lick of good, and we should save our money.

Organic foods only advantage is that they are usually about 30% more expensive. They are not more nutritious, nor better for you in any way. They are still grown with pesticides— just “natural” ones like those made from pyrethrums (very poisonous). The term “organic” is merely a marketing ploy, and farmers agree to use all “natural’ stuff like manure in growing their crops—which take about a third more land to grow.

Like most other things, the government doesn’t know best about what you should eat or what your children should eat. Michelle Obama’s decree about what children should eat in the National School Lunch Program is leaving kids hungry, angry, and with dumpsters full of rejected food. More than 500 schools have pulled out of the federal lunch program as a result of the Obama regulations. Kids have taken to Twitter to post photos of the meager burgers on sorry buns and sorry little skim milk cartons, mystery meat, and a few straggly cheese shreds on a massive tortilla. Schools are losing money on the program.

Mrs. Obama was surely well-intentioned, but dependent on the ideas that carbs were good, meat and cheese should be limited, fruit is always good and cherry tomatoes and catsup are excellent vegetables. But a healthy lunch remains what Mrs. Obama says it is so far.

And all the gluten-free stuff? You don’t need that unless you have coeliac disease. Feel better now?




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