American Elephants

If you were an idiot, what would you print? by American Elephant

No, don’t bother. That question has already been answered by the radical, subversive, treasonous New York Times.

No longer content with simply divulging national security secrets and publishing enemy propaganda, the Times has taken upon itself the role of Offensive Operations Research Management—A terrorist think-tank if you will. Ever seeking to plumb new depths, the Times has published an article online, entitled, “If You Were a Terrorist, How Would You Attack?” Unbelievable!

“Hearing about these rules got me thinking about what I would do to maximize terror if I were a terrorist,” writes Steven Levitt as he waxes philosophic how best to inflict maximum pain and damage on the United States and the American people.

Apparently the Times feels the terrorists are not having enough success, for after he proposes his own ideas he closes by recruiting readers to take up the cause, “I’m sure many readers have far better ideas. I would love to hear them.”

Well, let me take a stab at answering the Times’ question… If I were a terrorist, I would bombard the useful idiots in the mainstream media with propaganda, staged video and photographs, fabricated stories of massacres and other fictional attrocities. (Why bother fighting the American military? I know full well I’d be obliterated if I did.) And I’d attack civilians for the benefit of the cameras—all with the hope that the media would be stupid enough, and despicable enough to publish and broadcast my lies, propaganda and photo-op-attacks, and use them to turn public opinion against those who are fighting me.

Oh wait! They’re already doing that! …God help us all!

If, by chance, you still subscribe to the Times (or as I like to call it, “the Mouth of Sauron”), and you’d like to cancel your subscription, you can do so by calling 1-800-NYTIMES or by visiting If you patronize Starbucks, or any other business that offers the Times, ( i.e. hotels or doctors’ offices) you might consider suggesting that they drop the Times, and offer more responsible papers (the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Times or even Weekly World News for crying out loud) instead.

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