American Elephants


Bush ends global warming! by American Elephant

Stop the presses! Wake Al Gore! Notify the media!

The greatest threat to mankind is no more, and they seem to have missed the story. No, I’m not talking about a nuclear Iran or WMD in the hands of terrorists, don’t be silly…

Global Warming

Everyone knows the greatest threat to life on Earth is global warming! Imminent apocalyptic catastrophes that are certain to result from an almost immeasurable increase in the 0.03 percent of the atmosphere that is carbon dioxide.

At least it was…

But recently the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration quietly told us that global warming has stopped!

Looking at annual global temperatures, it is apparent that the last decade shows no warming trend and recent successive annual global temperatures are well within each year’s measurement errors. Statistically the world’s temperature is flat.

The world certainly warmed between 1975 and 1998, but in the past 10 years it has not been increasing at the rate it did. No scientist could honestly look at global temperatures over the past decade and see a rising curve.

So, not only has the past decade not shown any of the catastrophic warming that’s kept the inventor of the internet up at night, it hasnt warmed at all.

And now comes more good news, NASA has just confirmed that the past decade has not experienced the hottest years on record at all—as we have all been told—but that the hottest year on record was actually 1934, with 1931 and 1917 not far behind.

So it seems great celebration is in order. Perhaps the Earth was warming dangerously during the inconvenient Al’s tenure, but science seems to confirm that President George W. Bush has stopped global warming in its tracks!

Someone should really tell Al. I’m sure he’d want to know.

Man Bear Pig Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!


2 Comments so far
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Glad to see that there are still some intelligent people out there who do not piss themselves with fear because hybrid cars and energy efficient everything are on every TV commercial and new report.

I thought that the head of NASA (I forget his name) made a very good point a few months back when he said that not only was there no evidence of global warming but also that he questioned why Al Gore’s lobby is so sure that the current climate is the ideal one for either humanity or the planet in general. Why is our current state of climatological homeostasis automatically better than a slightly warmer (or cooler)) one? I thought it was an interesting point to raise.

Al Gore only wants to save the world so that future generations can reflect upon his greatness. He should stick to eating cheeseburgers and accept the fact that he lost is mind right around the same time he lost the election.

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Comment by dictated

Thanks for responding.

Yeah, he makes an excellent point. The answer I think is simple.

Because if man made global warming isnt threatening the world, then the current crop of anti-war Democrats dont have an issue to scare people into voting for them to compete with the real dangers of a nuclear Iran, and terrorists with WMD.

And since everyone knows democrats are horribly weak on defense (as they continue to prove), if they DONT have an issue like that, they are toast as a party for the forseeable future.

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Comment by American Elephant




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