American Elephants

It’s Broccoli, Dear.The USDA and Michelle Want You To Eat Your Vegetables! by The Elephant's Child

Just last year the USDA told us that they were revising the hallowed food pyramid.

This is the old outdated one. Probably some of you saw it in health class, or saw it on the wall of the school nurse’s office. In 2009, carbohydrates were in fashion — eat lots of bread, cereal, rich and pasta:  6-11 servings a day, and watch out for the fats, oils and sweets. No  allowed amount there, use sparingly.

The New Food Pyramid from last year, which I posted it on October 27, has disappeared without a trace. Not only is it a particularly ugly graphic, but carbohydrates are still right up there in quantity.

There was apparently a revised version of the “new food pyramid” that eliminated all those confusing and troubling words, and substituted just pictures to  help the illiterate. Do you suppose it was $2 million for each version?  Hard to part with the pyramid idea, that must have been the subject of many a meeting. Notice the prominent place of dairy products in this version.

Supposedly the USDA spent $2 million on the new “my plate” design. It is being praised for being “easy to understand” (I keep telling you that they think we’re stupid). Wags have had a great time re-labeling the portions. I’d settle for cherry pie, pumpkin pie, huckleberry pie and key lime pie.  Two million dollars? The USDA was robbed!

I don’t think anyone has ever paid any attention to these. Note how Dairy has diminished in importance.  And now what was once Meat, Poultry, Fish, Dry Beans and Eggs has become a small slice of huckleberry pie protein.  Well, I say it’s spinach and I say the hell with it.*

(an ancient joke from the New Yorker)


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