American Elephants

You Can’t Go Hunting In a Walmart Parking Lot! by The Elephant's Child
March 29, 2013, 8:28 pm
Filed under: Environment, Humor, Law, Terrorism | Tags: , ,

A man in Indiana County, Pennsylvania is facing several charges, after wildlife officers say he went deer hunting in a Walmart parking lot. Where I grew up they used to call that “buck fever.”

Arcangelo Bianco Jr. dropped by the Walmart Plaza last November. He spotted a 10-point white-tailed deer in the parking lot.  “He got out of his car and chased the deer down through the parking lot, and I believe even across Route 22,” said the Indians County District Attorney.

According to charging documents, the deer ran around a corner of the store, and Bianco hopped out of his truck, pistol in hand and “began firing multiple rounds at the deer.” Concerned shoppers called 911 to report a man with a gun running through the parking lot.

Mr. Bianco faces a misdemeanor count of reckless endangerment, as well as several hunting violations, including hunting without a license, shooting on or across highways and unlawful killing or taking of big game.

Obviously you can’t run around a Walmart parking lot firing a handgun with people all around.

I remember when I was a kid, a pickup pulled up in front of the lumber yard in our little town and a guy jumped out and began shooting up the street. He was sure he saw a deer at the end of the street about a block away. Wherever there are hunters and deer season begins, there are funny stories about someone with buck fever.  And the folks who don’t hunt exercise a little more care about venturing into the woods, until the season and the fever have passed.

How To Catch The Easter Bunny. by The Elephant's Child
March 29, 2013, 6:23 am
Filed under: Heartwarming, History, Humor, Sports | Tags: , ,

Re-posted from last Easter:

You need some preparations first. The Easter bunny comes in the early morning hours, right at dawn, when the sun is just coming up and the dew is still shining on the grass. You have to find a likely spot which seems as if it might be a bunny path. You will require a standard bushel basket, a long straight stick of kindling, and a good strong straight pin or slender nail. And you will need a nice fresh young carrot with its greens still intact.

You must set up the trap the night before Easter, just when it is about to get dark. Turn the bushel basket upside down, and prop up one side with the stick of kindling. Attach the carrot so it hangs on the front of the stick of kindling. You many have to take the kindling out and attach the carrot with a hammer.  It must be well attached, and yet still look enticing. When the Easter bunny comes hopping along, he will spot the carrot right away. Bunnies cannot resist nice fresh carrots. When he takes a bite of the carrot, the stick of kindling will fall and the basket will land on top of the bunny, and he is captured.

Then he needs only love and care.  Bunnies are particularly fond of carrots, of course, and soda crackers, and rabbit chow, grass and clover.

It always worked for me. You can tell if it is the real Easter bunny because he will have a blue ribbon around his neck.


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