American Elephants


The Extremists Are Coming, The Extremists Are Coming! by The Elephant's Child

This video from Andrew Klavan on the Culture is a couple of years old, which just goes to show you that nothing much changes.  Nancy Pelosi is not Speaker any more,  but nothing else is all that different.

The more things change, the more they stay the same, or something like that.



Just Not My Day! by The Elephant's Child
February 19, 2014, 9:05 pm
Filed under: Domestic Policy, Humor, Politics, Terrorism | Tags:

Had a long power outage today, somewhere in the vicinity of 2 to 3 hours (electric clocks) and then my computer has been acting up with 6 or 8 crashes.

I apparently need a new display-driver, and beyond that — your guess is as good as mine. At this point, I am exasperated, tense, irritable and incapable of writing anything intelligible. I shall regain my composure and return when it is regained.  Always fighting alligators. Some days are like that!

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The Headline of the Day! by The Elephant's Child

From Jammie Wearing Fools: ” Woman Who Can’t Afford Her Own Birth Control Scrapes Up Money to File for Congressional Run.”

Surely you remember Sandra Fluke (rhymes with Cluck) who appeared before the nation in a pretend Congressional hearing, set up to  look as if it was official after the committee in question (I can’t remember which committee) refused to have her as a witness since they didn’t think she had any testimony worth hearing.

Her testimony was a protracted whine about the vast expense of contraceptives which she thought taxpayers should pay for so she didn’t have to. It emerged that a month’s supply was available for around $9.00, which made her demand that taxpayers spring for it seem remarkably silly. But silly me. There it is in ObamaCare, and everybody is paying for it. If you wonder why you can no longer see your doctor, or afford health care — it’s because the Democrats stuck in all sorts of little goodies to reach favored voting groups, in this case radical feminists.

With the retirement of Henry Waxman, Ms. Fluke has filed with the California state Democratic Party to seek its endorsement in the race for the Waxman seat. She has not yet officially announced her campaign, nor filed with the Federal Election Commission. But California is known for some of the dumbest women in Congress, so why not? The idea that someone should work their way up in politics seems to have gone by the wayside. Experience is no longer necessary.

Jammie adds: “Just what Congress needs, another attention whore.”

 



Gibson Guitar Company Fights Back With Mockery. by The Elephant's Child

The Gibson guitar company in Nashville Tennessee was raided by the Feds in February 2012, with a SWAT-team who shut the whole company down, allegedly for possessing illegally imported wood. I wrote about it at the time because it was so absurd. A federal agency flexing its muscles — because they could. The agency experienced no restraint from the executive, who made it clear that war on the right was the mode of the day.

They confiscated stocks of tonewoods from the factory on dubious grounds, and Gibson eventually settled for a $300,000 fine, a “community service” payment of $50,000 to the National Fish and Wildlife Foundation (?), not to mention lost business from being shut down, and legal fees. Do read the article on the settlement to see just how absurd the federal actions were. Gangster government indeed.

This is another reason why the economy has not recovered. Business does not know what the federal government might do next. What new regulations? Every agency seems to have their own SWAT team. Who is next, and on what grounds? Uncertainty.

The Feds have returned their wood, the case is resolved, and Gibson is celebrating the end of the investigation with the introduction of a striking new guitar: The Government Series II Les Paul.

From its solid mahogany body with modern weight relief for enhance resonance and playing comfort, to its carved maple top, the Government Series II Les Paul follows the tradition of the great Les Paul Standards—but also makes a superb statement with its unique appointments. A distinctive vintage-gloss Government Tan finish, complemented by black-chrome hardware and black plastics and trim, is topped by a pickguard that’s hot-stamped in gold with the Government Series graphic—a bald eagle hoisting a Gibson guitar neck. Each Government Series II Les Paul also includes a genuine piece of Gibson USA history in its solid rosewood fingerboard, which is made from wood returned to Gibson by the US government after the resolution.

I love the “distinctive vintage-gloss Government Tan finish.” A nice drab bureaucratic style. (click to enlarge)

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A Different Take On School Lunches! by The Elephant's Child

In 2008, David LaFerriere decided to surprise his kids at school, drawing on the sandwich bags he packed in their lunches. The kids loved it, so he kept drawing. Every day they are greeted with a new creation their dad has made for them.Now, five years after the first drawing, he has created over one thousand lunchtime surprises, cataloging them all on Flickr.

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A little magic and an act of love that lets the kids know you’re thinking of them.
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Dave is a graphic designer, and his work has been featured on Sharpie’s website, but you don’t have to draw well to create magic for your kids. They will probably never remember the Christmas or birthday presents, but they will always remember the magic. Here’s the rest of the story.

Here’s another example of fatherly magic. The coolest tooth-pull ever! When this kid is old and grey, he will still remember the time his dad tied his tooth to a rocket, and laugh.

 



The Chicago Union Station’s “Magical Piano” by The Elephant's Child

Amtrack and Rob Bliss Creative teamed up to bring a little holiday cheer to Chicago’s Union Station using a “magical” piano. The piano reacts to the environment and people around it. It performs impromptu duets with strangers and even adds special music themes for certain situations.



Sherlock Mini-Episode: Many Happy Returns by The Elephant's Child

O.K. So how can he be still alive? You saw him fall off the building. You saw him dead.  A major tease from the BBC.



Having a Lot of Family for Christmas? by The Elephant's Child

The Fabled Darwin Awards for 2013  have been released:

Honoring the Least Evolved Among Us. And the winner is —

When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

___________________________

And the Honorable Mentions are

  1. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
  2. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
  3. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
  4. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
  5. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
  6. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
  7. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away.
  8. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family…. unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
(h/t: jdgroover.wordpress.com  My Underwood Typewriter)


The Truth About Parenthood by The Elephant's Child

Here’s a delightful ad that’s actually honest about parenthood. Yep! That’s what it’s like, and who would trade it? Ever stepped on a Lego tile in your bare feet?



Having Fun With ObamaCare Parodies! by The Elephant's Child

ObamaCare was passed without input from Republicans, and without a single Republican vote. Ever since, Republicans have been attempting to defeat, dislodge, disparage, dump and repeal the noxious bill. The effort continues, but in the meantime, they are having great fun with parodies.  Here’s one from The News Junkie at Maggie’s Farm called “ObamaFlowers:”

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers. My name is Trina. How can I help you?

(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of  November. But I can help you.

(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife’s work.

(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

Do read the whole thing, it’s a good one!



I Really Do, and I’ll Bet You Do Too! by The Elephant's Child

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Nanny State Thrives. Consumers Lose Again. by The Elephant's Child

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From the people who took your good shower heads away to save water, and the people who insisted that your toilet should be “low flush” for the same reason (though “twice flush” was fine), then they put restrictors in faucets to save water. New front-load washing machines cost more than twice as much and don’t clean clothes very well.

The much-hyped “energy-star”appliances don’t really save energy, and then they decided to send the lightbulb business to China to  raise profits for the big lighting divisions of the internationals. The CFLs give unpleasant light, and contain enough poisonous mercury that you’re supposed to call a haz-mat worker if you drop one; and the outrageously expensively LED bulbs require baffles to attempt to direct their one-directional light. You will probably not be surprised that the price of electricity hit a record for the month of October, and is up 42% in the past decade.

Attempts to ban plastic bags go on apace. Seattle makes you pay for each plastic bag, and forces shoppers to use cloth bags for groceries (cloth bags are dangerous and should be bleached between uses for safety; plastic bags are banned for imagined harm to sea life).

Soon, soon, they will come for your doorknobs. Vancouver, B.C. has banned doorknobs in all new construction, because they might be difficult for old people or those who have disabilities of the hand or arm. It’s levers from here on out. Faucets, ditto. Ergonomics studies, you see. Knobs involve pronating and supinating your wrist. Levers are easier for arthritic hands. Mayors and city councils copy each other, do not listen to constituents. Can’t let people choose. Must legislate.




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