American Elephants

Leave Charlie ALONE! by American Elephant

Leave Charlie Alone

You knew somebody was going to do it — might as well be me. Besides, hysterics notwithstanding, the guy had a point — it’s not nice to kick people when they’re down.

Jon Stewart: As God as My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly! by American Elephant

…and apparently that camels could skate. It’s Jon Stewart’s own “Turkey Drop“:

No joke: The Daily Show brought a camel to the protests in Madison the other day, presumably to help make fun of the Cairo/Madison comparisons. As this video shows, the gag didn’t turn out so well:

Who knew that an animal indigenous to the Middle East couldn’t walk on snow and ice in the Midwest? Local firefighters eventually rescued the camel. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that the Daily Show didn’t use any footage of the camel in its Tuesday night broadcast.

Poor thing! I wonder if PETA will protest the Daily Show?

(h/t Weekly Standard)

Christina Aguilera = Frank Dreben? by American Elephant
February 6, 2011, 4:38 pm
Filed under: Humor, Music, News, Pop Culture, Sports, Television | Tags: , , ,

The saddest part? Only one of them did it on purpose:

Exit question: why was Aguilera surrounded by a bunch of French flags?

NOMINATE: Where should Keith Olbermann go next? by American Elephant
January 22, 2011, 2:41 pm
Filed under: Humor, Media Bias, Politics, Progressivism, Television | Tags: , , ,

Unbeknowst to 99.63% of Americans, there apparently exists an obscure little cable network called MSNBC; and on this quaint little Mom and Pop, “Public-Access” type outfit there exists, we are told, a most unfortunate talk show host by the Name of Keith Odorpants, who was apparently, just prior to airtime last night, summarily sacked for being an insufferable, arrogant prig.

These are hard times…hard times.

Now, we here at American Elephants hate to see people lose their jobs, especially the mentally handicapped, so we are asking you, our compassionate readers, where you would suggest the newly unemployed Mr. Odorpants might have the best chances of finding new employment that is appropriate for his special talents?

Help us help Keith. Leave your suggestions in the comments. We’ll get the ball rolling:

1. White House Civility Czar (shamelessly stolen from a commenter at GayPatriot)

2. Insufferable power-crazed authoritarian elementary school hall monitor.

3. Mouth of Sauron.

Go Ahead, Watch it Again! by The Elephant's Child
January 9, 2011, 1:56 pm
Filed under: Entertainment, Sports, Television | Tags: , ,

In case you just wanted to watch Marshawn Lynch just once (or twice) more.

Ezra Klein Exposes Himself on MSNBC. by The Elephant's Child

Ezra Klein seems to be a young man who blogs for the Washington Post.  He was interviewed on MSNBC. and questioned about the Republican plan to have the Constitution read at the beginning of the 112th Congress. They asked Klein because he is apparently a “wonk” and the Constitution is about “wonkery.” The Constitution, Klein says ” has no binding power on anything.”  And besides that it’s old.  It was written more than 100 years ago (more than twice that) so it’s too hard for modern people to understand.

Well, there you go.  The Progressive view exposed.  All that other old hard stuff like Shakespeare, Chaucer, Aristotle is too hard. Modern man goes for 2,700 page bills that nobody understands, but the Constitution is too hard?

Iowahawk, the funniest man on the internet, was pleased to take on Ezra Klein. He thanks Mr. Klein for his interest in the Washington Post’s Young Pundit Essay Contest.  Don’t miss it.

RIP Leslie Nielsen by American Elephant
November 29, 2010, 4:15 pm
Filed under: Humor, Movies, News, Television | Tags:

The great comedic actor is dead at the age of 84. Best known for his roles in Airplane!, Police Squad! and The Naked Gun, Leslie Nielsen has been acting since 1956, appearing in more than 100 films, and 1,500 TV shows. But it wasn’t until his deadpan performance of Dr. Rumack  in Airplane! (1980) that Canadian-born Nielsen became known as one of Hollywood’s funniest funnymen. His career would never look the same.

Surely, he will be remembered as one of the best comedic actors of our time — and don’t call him Shirley.

Happy Thanksgiving to You All! by The Elephant's Child

We had snow on Monday,  a little early for the Seattle area.  Not much, probably not even an inch.  Not enough to be pretty, just enough to create chaos on the streets. Everybody (almost) in the Seattle area lives on a hill.  Snow here is treacherous.  It turns instantly to ice.  Seattleites buy SUVs because of the snow, then, because they have an SUV, they drive way too fast and cause all sorts of problems for everyone.

I grew up with lots of snow.  We always had plenty by Thanksgiving, and varied amounts up to 5 feet lasting until close to Easter.  Winter was largely devoted to coping with snow.  Our county road was sparsely populated, and therefore the last to be plowed, if then.  So we plowed it ourselves.  I can remember walking ahead of the car in a snowstorm to show where the edge of the road was, fairly regularly.  Been snowed in by a slide down the road a ways, but for the most part although the weather kept us busy, we had the equipment to cope with it.

Theoretically, it was supposed to rain yesterday and today, washing away all the snow and ice.  Didn’t happen.  Temperatures have stayed below freezing.  The city sanding truck came by sometime around 4:00 this morning. I can leave my house in five different directions, each involves a hill.

A few years back, I left work a little early when it was snowing hard.  I headed for the hill that seemed the least steep, got a good run at it and almost made it to the top, but could not.  Backed down to take another run, and here came a school bus over the top of the hill sliding sideways down the hill.  I backed to the curb as far away as I could get, but the bus came right for me, made a graceful curve and hit the car on the other side of the street.  The bus was nearly empty, but there was one small boy in a seat near the back, with eyes the size of saucers.

I hope none of you have to fly for Thanksgiving, or if you do that your encounter with airport screening is brief and courteous.  I hope that you are surrounded with friends and family, a table laden with all the traditional fare, and that whatever game you watch — your team wins.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Jon Stewart’s White-Youth Rally by American Elephant

White liberals, like those at the all-white MSNBC,  have been desperately attempting for months to smear the Tea Party as “racist” despite the fact that many Tea Party leaders, speakers, participants and Tea Party backed candidates are themselves minorities. Indeed, the propagandists at MSNBC even went so far as to claim that a man protesting Obamacare carrying a rifle over his shoulder and a handgun holstered on his hip was evidence of the racist nature of those who oppose the Obama agenda, while cropping the man’s head and hands out of the shot so their misinformed audience could not see that the armed Obama protester was a BLACK man.

So it is with particularly schadenfreudistic glee that I report not only how monochromatically WHITE the audience was at Jon Stewart’s White-Hipster-Youth Rally, but that in addition to being much less diverse than Glenn Beck’s rally, this great “progressive” show of force, was only a small fraction of the size of Beck’s rally. Considering how much they loathe Beck, and how desperately they were hoping to show him up — that’s really gotta sting.


Now, to be fair, there were at least a handful of minorities at the rally. Perhaps even a dozen or so. If you look very carefully at the Continue reading

The First Man On the Moon? Buzz Lightyear!! by The Elephant's Child

I think we are making a vast mistake to let the federal government get its grasping hands on our children’s education. It is one thing for a country to insist that its children receive an education, and quite another to turn the whole thing over to central planning.

Once again, Britain has become a bad example.  This time it’s education, though usually we look to the U.K. for what not to do in the realm of health care.

A study of 2,000 British schoolchildren revealed that one in five kids believe that Buzz Lightyear was the first person to set foot on the moon.  One in twenty believes that Counter Terrorist Jack Bauer was the brains behind the Gunpowder plot that blew up the houses of Parliament. And it’s not just history.

A third did not know that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, and one in five thought it was Charles Darwin. Eleven percent thought Isaac Newton discovered fire and Albert Einstein was Frankenstein’s brother.  One in twenty thought Christopher Columbus discovered liposuction, not America.

Twelve percent of kids thought the battle of Britain took place in space, and one in six think Darth Vader’s Deathstar is the farthest planet from Earth.

One in six failed to identify US President Barack Obama, claiming he was Mr. T from the A-Team, but a whopping 65 percent knew Britney Spears shaved her head.

We laugh at these sad misconceptions, but if the same survey were conducted in our own country, I shudder to think of the results.   It is sad that kids know more about celebrity culture than about history and world events.  Popular culture is very dominant, and the TV is more ubiquitous in the home than good history books.

The British research was carried out to mark the launch of the What on Earth? Wallbook which details and illustrates historical events from the big bang to the present day.  So one might take the survey with at least a tiny grain of salt, as its purpose is to sell the new “wallbook.”

However, it was not too long ago that I saw a small article noting that Winston Churchill  had been removed from the British curriculum. Go figure.

For Your Christmas Viewing Pleasure… by American Elephant

Remember back when TV didn’t suck? Yeah, neither do I.

BUT, these first two videos had me briefly believing that such a time existed. Then I remembered the third video.

The first is from my new favorite (old) show. I didn’t even discover Good Neighbors (alternately titled The Good Life) until a few years ago. It’s a show about a couple, the Goods, who drop out of the rat-race to live a simpler, self-sustaining life. (Don’t worry, it’s not a preachy environmental show at all) while their neighbors and friends maintain their affluent ways.

This is their Christmas show from 1977. The characters will charm your socks off, and you will probably end up watching the entire series as I have. Each show is less than half an hour and all are also available to view instantly, in much better quality, on Netflix. But YouTube works just fine, if you dont mind the show being split into three parts. See parts 2 and 3 here.

The second video is one you may remember. Schmaltzy tear-jerker, as Little House on the Prairie so often was. Warm, fuzzy family-viewing from back before  networks had altogeher eradicated Christ from Christmas in favor of Santa Claus. Here’s part one, the rest can be viewed here.

And the third video is one that I saw for the first time since 1978 last year. I remember seeing it then. I was nine years old and a GINORMOUS Star Wars fan. Even so, I think I remember thinking how bad this was even then. If you have not seen the Star Wars Christmas Special, you must. It truly is must-see-TV because watching is the only way to appreciate how utterly dreadful it is. Chewbacca’s wife and kids? Princess Leia singing, and what Star Wars Christmas Special could be complete without appearances by Harvey Korman, Jefferson Starship, Dianne Carol and Bea Arthur dancing with Greedo?


In all sincerity, this may very well be the worst thing ever broadcast in any format at any time. George Lucas has said he wishes he could hunt down and destroy ever last copy.

WordPress wont allow us to imbed Google videos, so you can watch it here. So painfully, uncomfortably bad, it is hardly to be believed. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Merry Christmas!

Carol of the Bells by American Elephant
December 13, 2009, 10:33 am
Filed under: Music, Television | Tags: , , ,

Shchdedryk, The Ukrainian Carol, or Carol of the Bells — different names for the same beautiful carol. There are so many excellent renditions of this carol to choose from — unless you happen to be limiting yourself to performances available on YouTube — in which case you get a thousand mediocre High School Choirs, ten-thousand amateur webcam performances, and if you are persistent, you might unearth a few gems.

I am.

So, I present, first, the Muppets, followed by Julie Andrews in her (1973?) Christmas Special with the Treorchy Male Choir, and finally George Winston’s beautiful piano arrangement.

Merry Christmas!


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