American Elephants

From the Babylon Bee: Today’s Snarky Look at the Profession of Journalism. by The Elephant's Child
July 2, 2022, 8:33 pm
Filed under: Politics

Jan. 6 Committee Says Cassidy Hutchinson Told Them That She Heard Mark Meadows Say That A Secret Service Agent’s Friend’s Cousin’s Husband Once Heard That One Of Trump’s Other Aides Said She Thinks She Heard Him Say He Wanted To ‘Do An Insurrection’. Ms. Cheney was a prime reason for my recent support of the ides that there should be a simple test for anyone wishing to run for Congress. A little history, a bit of common sense, that sort of thing.

Article Image

Unfortunately, evidence keeps popping up that suggests that a little testing might be a very good idea.

Politics · Jun 29, 2022

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The walls are closing in on former President Trump. In an explosive bombshell unprecedented star witness testimony yesterday, Cassidy Hutchinson told everyone that she heard Mark Meadows say that a Secret Service agent’s friend’s cousin’s husband once heard that one of Trump’s other aides said she thinks she heard him say he wanted to “do an insurrection.”

“Yes, that’s totally what I heard someone say Trump said to someone who told it to them,” said Cassidy Hutchinson. “He literally said ‘Let’s do an insurrection.’ And then he threw a plate at the bust of Martin Luther King.” Hutchinson then started sobbing uncontrollably.

The committee confirmed that the Secret Service agent’s friend’s cousin’s husband who heard the aide say what she thought she heard is “an upstanding witness of the most unassailable character.”

“This is looking really bad,” said conservative folk hero Adam Kinzinger. “This might finally be the beginning of the end for Trump, who we are discovering was the evilest president to ever be elected.” Kinzinger then started sobbing uncontrollably.

The hearings are expected to heat up even more next week when the committee brings in Johnny Depp to testify – according to sources close to Johnny Depp’s agent’s cleaning lady’s great aunt.

1 Comment so far
Leave a comment

Given the veracity of all her other comments, I am seriously questioning that “Cassidy Hutchinson” is, in fact, her name.

Liked by 1 person

Comment by Lon Mead

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: