American Elephants

Named by John James Audubon after a friend who supplied him with specimens.

Audubon discovered 25 bird species in North America, but studied the skulls of dead Mexican soldiers after the Battle of San Jacinto, and therefore must certainly not be honored in any way.

Racism is, of course, the biggest deal. If we are going to be a good country and a good people, we must remove all signs of racism. So, of course, first they went for the statues. Any leftover officers from the Confederate military needed to be torn down at once. Then they went for the military. There were military bases all over the country named for outstanding generals on both sides of the Civil War. No Confederate generals were to be remembered. They were on the wrong side. Should I mention in passing, that the Civil War ended 156 years ago? Aside from base names like Fort Bragg (named for Confederate General Braxton Bragg) which is the current home for airborne and special forces, there are bases and airfields, training camps, that have names of past generals. Nope. No matter how outstanding they might have been, the fact that they were on the wrong side condemns them. New name needed. We must stamp out the slightest evidence of anyone that fought for the Confederacy.

But here’s where the whole thing veers into comedy. The Wallace’s fruit dove was named after a British naturalist, explorer and anthropologist who is credited along with Charles Darwin of coming up with the theory of evolution through natural selection. His writings, however are filled with references to the “N” word. He must be condemned for the sin of thinking like most people at the time. Whites at the time went about the task of cataloging and naming the natural world like ordinary people of the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries.

So there you go. A bird named after someone whose writings once contained the “N” word certainly has to have it’s name changed. The Bachman’s Fruit sparrow was named by Audubon after a friend who supplied him with specimens People are claiming injury from hearing the name of a bird. People need to get a little more sleep and take a couple of aspirin, perhaps. There are some important problems in the world that need a solution. This is not one of them.